''एक बार यूँ ही''

ये लो! ऊँगली पर आ कर अटकी हुई कविता.
अब इस प्रसव वेदना का करें भी तो क्या करें?



*ज़ोरबा दी फेनुग्रीक ''एक बार यूँ ही''*

Being@BoomBoomCafe | 14.04.08

Thick.

It's thick at first.

My being.


The moment
i take my shoes off,
it starts crumbling.

And now
when the soft cushion that i
am sitting on, starts
talking to me,
it starts crumbling even
more.

my being.


Far, as far as
i can reach through
mountain with
my eyes, he has

left his
footprints.

For me to find.
For me to walk on.

Wind keeps blowing
and with it, the crumbled
remains of my "I"


And then
on my left,
pregnant grey clouds
suddenly loom
large and blanket the
snow-clad monkish
mountain.

They know
how to crumble me
even further, it seems.

The cup of hot chocolate
arrives and leaves me
on my knees.

The sheer size.
The sheer taste.

I am falling apart.

I am just melting nothingness.

I am waiting
for evening to
come.

Swallow me
carry me into complete
darkness

when i will stand
on that highest
peak,
and will find
my valley.



Being@BoomBoomCafe 14.04.08

Lemon Yellow Afternoon

wrote this on a sunday afternoon.

i was caught unawares.

words came.

and they got me.

by soul.

05.06.07

अपने हर एक लफ्ज़ का खुद आईना हो जाऊँगा,
उसको छोटा कह के मैं कैसे बडा हो जाऊँगा,

तुम गिराने में लगे हो, तुमने ये सोचा नहीं,
मैं गिरा तो मसलआ बन कर खडा हो जाऊँगा,

मुझको चलने दो, अकेला है अभी मेरा सफर,
रास्ता रोका गया तो काफिला हो जाऊँगा,

सारी दुनियाँ की नज़र में है मेरा अहद-ए-वफा,
एक तेरे कहने से क्या मैं बेवफा हो जाऊँगा ....


it's been long that i stopped writing for myself. :) a bitter irony but yeah ive been writing for money for quite some time and when i find some golden nuggets on the life's lonesome highway, written by somebody else i feel like collecting them and put them in my breastpocket.


this one is such.



ps: i guess i should resurrect.

FRAGILE-------------------------------------------------

Don't.

Do not scratch the surface.

People are fragile.

They break.

They snap.

They die.

They become nobody
if you go just a little too close to them.

Let them be.


Don't.

Do not trust them to be real.

People are myth.


They deviate.

They manipulate.


They unbecome.


Don't blame them.

They are false

they are fragile.







-----This one i dedicate to myself. And then, leave it to all of you here to touch,tickle or torch this fragile piece of writing.Poetry, as they say, is born out of blood. this may or may not be the classic example of it, but since poetry is a very personal affair for me, and this network has provided many reasons to affirm that belief in me, i hang these 25 fragile words that took 561 days to meet me on the life's highway.

does it have to be brilliant and mindboggling? when....

today is tuesday. exactly a week after the rain god thundered over skyline of mumbai and lashed and washed and thrashed dangerously this city that never sleeps. Ruminating over the last whole week when nearly all of its 15 million population suffered in one way or other, I sit in front of white blank screen and thought does it have to be brilliant and mind-boggling when one sits down to write a blog? The senses have become numb. The conscious is dysfunctional. The half of the brain is reluctant to work. The other half – of course – strongly asks for a large peg of old monk. And I still keep ruminating about those mysterious four and half hours when me and two other colleagues found our way to safety of another friend’s home.


They say, life is unpredictable. But then, THAT is quite a predictable and obvious truth. Aint it?



More later when I come to my senses.

six great short films and one horrible milkshake

the first thing i realised that after creating this blog back in january, i haven't had contributed much to it. now, since i have realised it and got enough exposure to other people's blogs, i guess i should be writing here often.

i know it's kinda hard for me. for a person who dutifully writes thousands of words daily for bread and butter (that's called a copywriter in advertising parlance) it seems bit awkward to write again few thousands (or even hundreds) more and to top it all, all blogs - in my view - are your window to the world. now, anybody can sneak and have your preview. that's bit dangerous as it makes you vulnerable enough to get shattered image. lolz. but what the hell. i would take the risk. after all, i been hiding away from life to an extent. i guess its time i meet her halfway.

went to mocha short film fest today. as usual. been attending it every first sunday of the month for the last 2 years. and it has been an enlightening experience all the way. except for coupla films which turned out horribly senseless, the whole medium has lured me and taught me lot of things.

like, today's list contained some superb films, some average and one utterly senseless one. if i excuse the senseless one, i really enjoyed going through the experience. for example, 'Eating out' a 12 mintues long film directed by arunkumar (an nri living in usa) was one hillarious take on a couple went to eat out wher they noticed (its just the trigger to create this film i believe) one gay couple sitting and 'enjoying each other's company' on the couch nearby. this turns on the conversation between two protagonists. and lo! they end up in arguments over whether they were gay or lesbians. lolz. quite a funny take on the reality of life's little encounters. but the director's treatment made it funnier and educative at the same time. then there was very short one by elvis d'silva and his girl poonam which they co-wrote and co-created (literally. later on in talk they revealed it was actually a two-people production.) while on a trip to singapore. it was dark, funny and very much powerful subject.

the rest of the list contained one documentary by noted film maker anand patwardhan. this film - war and peace - is banned and restricted by indian government. went through a heart numbing process of censor which suggested 21 cuts (which if director had complied, wouldve killed the film altogether and would have turned out like tv newscast.) and still won coupla prestigious awards from international festivals.

then, there were films like:
1) dREAMS
dIR: sARIKA
dUR: 13 mIN.
A dOCU. oN tHE LiFE oF dESTITUTE wOMEN wHO aRE LeARNING tO LiVE oN tHEIR oWN.


2) oUGHT tO bE oR oUGHT nOT tO bE ( jAPAN )
dIR: sHIMURA bROS
dUR: 28 mIN.
A sUSPENSEFUL cOMEDY aND aN iRONIC fABLE aBOUT mODERN jAPANESE sOCIETY.
1sT pRIZE @ yOKOHAMA fILM fESTIVAL


3) rENT
dIR: sANJAY sHUBHANKAR
dUR: 12 mIN.
hOW LiFE pRESSURIZES yOU tO cOMPROMISES wITH yOUR iDEOLOGY, mORALS AND pRINCIPLES tO fULFILL yOUR sMALL nEEDS.

4) cATARACT (gERMANY / iNDIA)
dIR: sAINATH cHAUDHARY
dUR: 8 mIN.
A cHANCE mEETING bETWEEN tWO pEOPLE iN a LoNELY bERLIN pETROL sTATION, a fANTASTIC jOURNEY tHEY eMBARK uPON aND aN eND nO oNE'S pREPARED fOR.
wINNER tALENT mOVIE oF tHE wEEK, bERLIN iNTERNATIONAL fILM fESTIVAL, 2005


(gosh. i guess its turning into something like reporting the filmfest event. i guess i still havent learned how to fucking write a blog! nowukfurries! i will learn fast.)


but then as an afterthought, i think if it is really necessary to write a truthfull blog or say be a expert blooger to write a blog? is it?